Cape Cod Kwassa Kwassa

Over the years one relationship I've always been able to maintain and always have been dedicated to was that of my best friend. I never understood how we clicked so well, but in my opinion we did. We really were the best of friends. Or at least that's what I thought. Apparently we were on completely different ends of the spectrum and it turns out, she really doesn't care about me in the slightest. I feel torn apart to be honest. I can't believe how heartless she was to me after all these years. I could never say a bad thing about her but this is just tearing me apart. I don't understand how after all these years it just stops and how you can give up a loyal solid best friend for nothing. I don't even know what I feel anymore,  I feel like a different person. I don't even feel alive anymore. I seriously just feel dead. This is the girl who made me who I am and has been with me for over a quarter of my life. How do you recover from losing that? It's not like I can just wake up tomorrow morning with a smile on my face, I don't even know if I can smile on my own. The worst part is I don't even feel like I did anything wrong that I haven't already apologized for. It's not like I overreacted, these people tried to get me expelled which would have essentially ruined my life. But I guess there's the factor that she doesn't really care about me in the slightest so it's completely okay with her. I'm going to miss her family, I felt like they were my own. I don't see them every talking to me because I'm sure she'll tell them I did something horrible that ended our friendship and that it was all my fault knowing she won't want to upset her dad. Of course. I honestly just don't even know what to do with myself anymore, I feel so alone.